Classified Ads- Services- Executioner
by Tom Skolfield
For all of your execution needs
Time honored method- our favorite.
Portable, guaranteed fast results.
Ideal for those large group events.
BYOB- (Bring your own basket).
Slower than guillotine but can be more satisfying based on personal preference.
Cheap cost effective.
Traditional- choice of long or short drop.
Green energy provided by solar panels.
Fast and efficient, low clean up.
90% effective (first time).
Not recommended for cloudy areas.
Drawing and quartering
Satisfying results for those special criminals.
For those who own a mega yacht.
Keel provided by yacht owner.
Viewing area limited to yacht size.
For those who would like the enjoyment of participation.
Bring your own rifle and ammo for a discount!
Back stop and post provided.
Not recommended due to global warming.
May require a carbon tax.
For more information please contact –
1-800-DEADCEO for a free consultation and quote. Special group rates and sliding scale fees available. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Over 40 years experience in electrical mechanical engineering, sailing and knot tying, hunting and recreational shooting.
2023 May 9.